Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
well you can't waste a boner
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
