Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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