God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Randomize
