Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
My boob is missing a layer of skin
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
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