what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Randomize