he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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