That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize
