Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
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