They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
