is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize
