Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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