you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
