my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
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