I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Randomize
