I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
