Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Come back. Shots need mouths.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Randomize
