There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Randomize
