I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
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