Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
