Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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