Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
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