All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
