Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
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