Have you finally orgasmed yet?
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Randomize
