i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
