If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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