There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Randomize
