VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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