screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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