I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Randomize
