Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
