do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
