I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I just threw up on my dentist
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Randomize
