This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
