Already got asked if we're dating
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize
