she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
We were destined to go to rehab together
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
