was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Randomize
