this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
