Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
