You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
