i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Randomize
