i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
