your thong is hanging out like whoa
On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
