I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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