Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
