Porn is love you can see.
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Randomize
