Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Randomize
