Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
We are two peas in an std pod
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
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