Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
