quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
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